Book Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #5 – The Black Circle

Title: The Black Circle
Author: Patrick Carman
Year of Publication: 2009
The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt
Goodreads Rating (Avg.):
Goodreads Rating (Mine):

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Plot Description: At the behest of a mysterious contact who claims to have known their grandmother, Amy and Dan Cahill travel to Russia to unravel a series of clues connected to the Lucian stronghold there, and also solve the mystery of whether Anastasia Romanova did really survive the assassination of the Tsar’s family.  And thus we come to my least favourite book in the entire series.

Over the course of the books so far, it has become clear that the clues they’re searching for are ingredients to an unknown compound. In Korea, Dan and Amy theorize that they may be searching for the Philosopher’s Stone. Gideon Cahill was an alchemist, but in the course of his efforts to find a cure for the Black Plague, he discovered a solution that would enhance the human body – intelligence, physique, artistic capabilities, ingenuity… When all the ingredients are combined, the Master Serum is formed, with the ability to transform any human being into something far beyond human.

The Black Circle does nothing new in terms of storytelling – the highlight of the book is perhaps the official alliance the Cahills form with the Holt family as they simultaneously search for clues in various Russian cities. But where the other books maintain a passable facade of being socially equitable, Carman manages to infuriate me by introducing some unnecessarily gendered rubbish.

Presumably as part of the Cahill kids’ character development, Carman has them driving vehicles through Moscow (thanks to fake IDs that establish them as being more than five years older than they are). Dan drives a motorcycle, and Amy drives the car. Now this… This! These roles could just as easily have been reversed. Now, I come from a country where women drive cars and scooters (like the Vespa). But if one were to take a census of the women who ride motorcycles in the country with the second largest population in the world, one would find that the number was so miniscule as to be practically invisible. I’ve been fighting numerous, numerous obstacles to be able to learn how to ride for a decade, and my younger brother practically had the lessons and the bikes handed to him on a silver platter.

No such obstructions exist in Dan and Amy’s world. It is a fictional world. It wouldn’t have killed anybody to have those roles reversed, and yet it seems to not have fucking occurred to them.

These things matter.

Next in this Series: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #6 – In Too Deep


Book Review: The Circular Staircase

Title: The Circular Staircase
Author: Mary Roberts Rineheart
Series: N/A
#: N/A
Year of Publication: 1908
Goodreads Rating (Avg): 3.66
Goodreads Rating (Mine): 3

Mild Spoilers

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Plot Description: A spinster aunt, her inseparable companion, and her adoptive children (niece and nephew) rent a house in the country for a few months. Almost immediately, there is a murder in the house – the son of the owner is dead. What’s more, the servants believe the house is haunted, due to mysterious noises and intruders who somehow manage to get into the house no matter how many windows are barred, how many doors locked, and how many armed men keep watch.

This made for an enjoyable read, although I was under the impression that I was reading an Agatha Christie novel from start to end. The same thing happened when I read “The Man in Lower Ten,” although in that case I figured out halfway through the book that it was a different author.

It’s hard to imagine a book written a hundred years ago managing not to sound entirely too alien, but I guess this explains all the constant hysteria on the part of the women in the book. I’m rather glad that the female characters – and specifically, protagonist Rachel Innes – dominate the storyline entirely. Lady’s maid Liddy and niece Gertrude also play significant parts in the novel, and the book tends to focus on their perspectives and interests, as well as those of the numerous interchangeable (mostly female) servants and the delicately ill Louise Armstrong.

It is quite annoying to watch these women hear strange sounds in the night and then immediately rush into their rooms and bolt the doors, rather than go out and catch the culprits red-handed. It’s equally annoying that on the few occasions where they actually go out to try and catch the culprits red-handed, they faint with amazing promptness at the slightest whisper of contact with said culprits. All this serve as narrative devices that stretch the mystery out, and while they may have been believable plot devices in Rineheart’s head, they’re rather pathetic plot holes now.

The book rushes headlong through numerous twists, some of which would be easily guessed by a veteran reader of detective fiction. To be honest, I was more interested by Rachel Innes – her nosiness and spirit for adventure, despite the ever present danger of spontaneous fainting. Miss Innes is exhilarated by the prospect of going on an adventure involving midnight grave desecration and mischievously enjoys Liddy’s confusion at finding her mistress’ boots covered in dirt and smelling of the graveyard.

The description of Thomas Johnson (“the Armstrongs’ colored butler”) was something else I found interesting:

“Mrs. Watson had been glad enough, I think, to turn Louise over to our care, and Thomas went upstairs night and morning to greet his young mistress from the doorway. Poor Thomas! He had the faculty–found still in some old negroes, who cling to the traditions of slavery days–of making his employer’s interest his. It was always “we” with Thomas; I miss him sorely; pipe- smoking, obsequious, not over reliable, kindly old man!”

A perspective from the 1900s, written by a white woman, telling of the more “benevolent” conceptions of race and of black people in those days. At any rate, “poor Thomas” did not survive the novel – he had a heart attack upon seeing what he thought was a ghost, and died hiding in a cupboard. “Poor Thomas” was a complete narrative device – one dimensional and existing to enhance parts of the mystery through his actions, all of which were born of selfless devotion. I particularly dislike his thieving employer for having caused Thomas’ death – the man had faked his death, and then returned to search the house for his ill gotten goods, causing Thomas to assume that he’d seen a ghost.

I enjoyed this book much more than I did The Man in Lower Ten, quite possibly because this story wasn’t being narrated by a pompous prat of a man who seemed incapable of telling women apart, and incapable of assessing the female personality on any grounds except that of physical attractiveness. Rachel Innes is a great narrator and protagonist, her inquisitiveness and nose for adventure giving fresh breath to what would otherwise have been a very stuffy enterprise indeed.

Next Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #5 – The Black Circle

Book Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #4 – Beyond the Grave

Title: Beyond the Grave
Author: Jude Watson
Year of Publication: 2009
The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt
Goodreads Rating (Avg.):
Goodreads Rating (Mine):

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Plot Description:  The Cahills are in Egypt, being clueless tourists and searching for statues of Al-Sakhet. Amy is still moping about Ian’s betrayal, which is silly, because there’s so much more betrayal to look forward to. (In relationships in general, as it is with the Clue Hunt in particular.)

It was revealed early on the books that the Cahill family consists of four distinct lineages descended from the four original siblings: Luke, Thomas, Katherine and Jane Cahill. Each branch specializes in something or the other – the Lucians are cunning and well versed in cold logic, ruthlessness and spycraft. The Tomas are athletic, and possessed of a slow and reliable intelligence. The Ekats are inventors possessed of great ingenuity. The Janus are the artsy ones. Amy and Dan are the only ones who are unaware of what branch they come from – their beloved grandmother Grace did not deign to tell them anything about the Cahill family, let alone what branch they’re descended from.

In each book, a new stronghold is discovered – and promptly broken into. It was Lucian in the first, Janus in the second, an ancient Tomas stronghold in the third, and now Ekat in Egypt. Amy and Dan’s dismay at not knowing their lineage only grows with each book, as they rue the number of disadvantages they’re saddled with as a consequence.

“It had been a seven-year string of bad luck, ever since their parents died in that house fire. How were Amy and Dan supposed to do this alone? The Kabras had money. Their parents supported them. Plus, they were working with Irina. The Holts were a whole family. Jonah Wizard had his dad planning every moment of his life. It was Amy and Dan against… families. Teams. Generations. They didn’t stand a chance.”
– The Sword Thief, Peter Lerangis, The Clue Hunt #3

Then there is the phrase they heard right in the first book: “Beware the Madrigals.”

Who the mysterious Madrigals are is unclear, nor is it particularly explained why they are so dangerous. But Amy and Dan finally get a firsthand look at Madrigal handiwork when they find that the clue they’re hunting in this book has been defaced and destroyed.

An interesting aspect of plot development is that every betrayal or otherwise act of violence perpetrated by one of the teams actually becomes a significant pivot that enables their characters to feel remorseful, and therefore take a 180 degree turn by the end of the series. Redemption is on the cards for (almost) all of them.

It would have, however, been great if Irina Spazky’s redemption wasn’t based on the latent maternal instincts that Amy and Dan evoke in her. Yes, truly, it would be nice to have a bloodthirsty Russian spy who switches sides because of some reason other than that she’d been a mother once upon a time. Also, Irina’s “spiritual experience” inside Nefertiti’s tomb sounds hella weird, and once again, smacks of the Oriental mysticism trope to me.

Pet Peeve: Also, can I just say that Saladin is the most unrealistic cat, ever? He behaves more like a dog than a cat. None of the cats I know would pass up the opportunity to take off once they’re anywhere in the great outdoors (with or without a healthy dose of panic on the side.)

Next Review: The Circular Staircase by Mary Roberts Rineheart

Next in this Series: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #5 – The Black Circle

Book Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #3 – The Sword Thief

Title: The Sword Thief
Peter Lerangis
Year of Publication: 
The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt
Goodreads Rating (Avg.):
Goodreads Rating (Mine):

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Plot Description: Dan and Amy head to Tokyo, and then Korea in the footsteps of Toyotomi Hideyoshi. I’m guessing the antics of a brutal warlord are diluted because it’s supposed to be a book for children – one of the first things written about Toyotomi in his Wikipedia entry is the fact that he once ordered the death by crucifixion of 26 Christians.

I do not appreciate Peter Lerangis’ skill in writing, primarily because he seems to think that being a child means to be incredibly childish – indeed, he takes this to nonsensical levels:

I’m figuring maybe the subway was built into the already existing tunnels!”
The Holts shut up at once.
“Dan — ” Amy warned. “You’re telling this to them!”
Dan looked up, bewildered. “I was telling Uncle Alistair.”
“But we-ee-ee heard you,” Reagan sang in a taunt, and stuck out her tongue.

– The Sword Thief, The 39 Clues #3 by Peter Lerangis (emphasis mine)

Take the above exchange. They’re all sitting in a small car. Your typical 11-year old is not, in fact, incapable of understanding that sitting in the same car means that the people next to you can hear what you say.  Whoa. Did I just blow your mind, Lerangis?

I have absolutely no explanation for this passage, why the author thought it a good idea to include it, why the editors let it pass, and so on. None whatsoever.

This book is the big one for alliances. Irina and the Kabras are working together. Alistair and the Cahills are working together. And then Alistair, the Cahills and the Kabras all join forces so they can discover a clue in a cave… After Ian spends like, half the book flirting with Amy, the Kabras promptly betray the Cahills once the clue is found, and Alistair promptly abandons them so Amy is left holding onto all sorts of unresolved feelings.

There, there, Amy. Lack of closure thanks to unreliable males in your life is something I can assuredly relate to.

Fortunately for them, the Cahills are beginning to get with the program. Dan gives the Kabras the wrong clue, sending them haring off in the wrong direction.

Between alliances, a hint as to the real objective of the quest, continuous betrayals, and the Cahills beginning to understand that they really shouldn’t be trusting their opponents, plot development seems to take a few steps forward. Sadly, the book is very badly, childishly and unrealistically written, and the Ian-Amy angle reminds me that they are in fact cousins. Certainly, enough generations have passed since the first set of Cahill siblings for it to not matter much, but it’s still kind of icky.

Pet Peeve: “Schist” is mentioned – a joke that also appears in Riordan’s Son of Neptune. I wonder whether he asked Lerangis to put it in here, or whether Lerangis inspired him… If it’s the latter, let the record state that I’ve always thought that joke to be in bad taste.

“Schist,” said an angry voice from the grass.
Hazel raised her eyebrows. “Excuse me?”
“Schist! Big pile of schist!”
– Son of Neptune, Rick Riordan (Heroes of Olympus #2)

Next in this Series: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #4 – Beyond the Grave

Book Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #2 – One False Note

Title: One False Note
Gordon Korman
Year of Publication: 
The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt
Goodreads Rating (Avg.):
Goodreads Rating (Mine):

One False Note

With 11 books and half a dozen authors, The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt is a big series to review all at once. However, it’s also a children’s series, complete with interactive gameplay. The plot is actually quite simple and to the point, and each book is filled with adventures meant to spread the experience over a number of instalments.

Plot Description: The Cahills are apparently a great and influential family that has produced pretty much every famous person you’ve ever heard of – and even some you’ve never heard of. They have a family secret that will lend great power to whoever knows how to use it, and the 39 clues to that secret are spread across the world. Unfortunately, the family (which is divided into branches of descendants of the original Cahill siblings) is consumed by infighting and an utter lack of co-operation.
After their adventures in Paris, Amy and Dan Cahill, their au pair Nellie and Saladin, their grandmother’s cat, journey to Vienna, Austria – to the birthplace of Nannerl Mozart and her famous brother Wolfgang.

I appreciate the efforts to hammer home the idea that Nannerl, despite her talent being equal to (or greater than) that of her brother, lost out on the opportunities for fame and success due to her gender.  However, this fact is put across so repeatedly and bluntly that even the most understanding of readers will tire of it. It smacks of overcompensation.

And with good reason, because this shallow and ham handed attempt at feminism is as good as it gets. Nellie and Amy are shown to be very upset about the unfairness surrounding Nannerl Mozart, which is great, but I’d have deeply appreciated it if Dan was shown as having some reaction to their revelations other than eye rolling and dismissing it as “Boring girl stuff.” Spouting feminist content is no good unless little white 11 year old boys understand why it’s important, the significance of it.

All the characters are bluntly outlined caricatures. Amy and Dan are, of course, the best fleshed out, but even they fit the tropes of orphaned, lonely youngsters with pluck and spirit. I also don’t understand the concept of writing sibling rivalry in terms of “Cooties” and calling each other names. My siblings and I fought a lot, but there was no fundamental conception of each other as a “dweeb” or “Sisterus Dorkus” or anything else for that matter. We were who we were, and we were too young to try and quantify that with name-calling.

The other teams are: the Holts – a family of people built like “Neanderthals” (book’s words, not mine), obsessed with behaving like they’re a military unit, and excelling at athletics; the Kabras – a pair of siblings the same age as Dan and Amy, but who are rich, intelligent and cunning; Alistair Oh, an older Korean man with a flair for fancy clothing and enigma; the Starlings – incredibly intelligent and capable triplets; Jonah Wizard, a child hip hop star and Irina Spasky, a former KGB agent.

Irina speaks in what I suppose is “A Russian accent” – having never heard an actual Russian accent, I cannot judge, but it does seem to be a good approximation of the accents stereotypically heard on TV. In fact, Irina’s English reminds me of Anatoly Knyazev on Arrow.


Irina isn’t the only to be typecast – Jonah Wizard and Alistair Oh are a mess as well. As a hip-hop star, Jonah frequently refers to his homies, says “yo” or “word…” The fact that he’s a spoilt, rich kid pointedly clashes with his appearance and mannerisms, all of which faithfully follow the hip-hop image. He’s eventually shown to be a fan of Shakespeare, a fact that he tries to hide because he’d “lose his street cred.” I think that’s a pretty problematic description, since it equates “hip hop” with “lack of culture” (as culture is conventionally defined). I don’t think being a hip hop artist precludes anyone from enjoying Shakespeare or other classic English literature, and to imply otherwise is super messed up. The authors are so self-satisfied with their inclusionary antics that they overlook the deeper analysis of the dynamics of racism, and subtly end up implying that somehow Shakespeare (and speaking “Standard English”) are better than hip hop and AAVE.

Similarly, Alistair Oh being Korean means he must act in as “oriental” a manner as possible.

An Asian man with a placid smile, dressed in a silk suit with white gloves and a bowler hat.
“Greetings, my elusive relatives,” purred Alistair Oh.” – One False Note, The 39 Clues #2 (Gordon Korman).

Next in this Series: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #3 – The Sword Thief



Book Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #1 – The Maze of Bones

Title: The Maze of Bones
Author: Rick Riordan
Year of Publication: 2008
Series: The 39 Clues: The Clue Hunt
#: 1
Goodreads Rating (Avg.): 3.83
Goodreads Rating (Mine): 3

maze of bones

Plot Description: Orphaned at an early age, Amy and Dan Cahill developed a very close bond with their grandmother Grace. Now at her funeral, her will gives her relatives a choice between choosing a million dollars or a clue that will set them off on a curious quest for 39 different clues. Determined to honour Grace’s memory, Amy and Dan accept the quest that will pit them against various family members who all seem to be much better prepared and knowledgeable than the kids themselves are.

In the course of my reading of this series, I have frequently been given to consider the question of precisely what constitutes a good children’s book, and what a good review of a children’s book. It is obvious that the older you are, the less you are likely to relate to a book meant for kids. And it also goes without saying that all this makes reviewing an extremely difficult process.

What complicates this series even further is that each book is written by a different author. Of these, Rick Riordan and Gordon Korman are the only ones I’ve known of beforehand. The writing styles are therefore different, and there are inconsistencies in the tone, and in what kind of subliminal messages are prioritized.

Although I enjoy Riordan’s writing on the whole, in this case, I found that it grated. Particularly in the opening chapter, characterization seemed loud and unnecessarily bratty. Carter and Sadie Kane were a much better written pair of siblings than are Dan and Amy Cahill. Moreover, Riordan’s trademark humour seemed – at least to me – to be missing from this book. His comic timing has always helped me sail through his books before (indeed, as far as I’m concerned, it’s the single greatest thing about The Kane Chronicles).

As far as adventures go, this series seems to follow more along the lines of Katherine Applegate’s writing (or that of Lemony Snicket) than Riordan’s. While Percy Jackson and his cohorts also run into  (and out of) dangerous situations with alarming frequency, those situations seem much more natural and light hearted. Applegate and Snicket, on the other hand, seem to exist solely to bring misery to the lives of their child characters. I suppose The 39 Clues falls somewhere in the middle.

Pet Peeve: Unnecessary use of the world “spaz”, used apparently as a nickname for Irina Spazky, a Russian KGB agent and member of the Lucian branch of the Cahill family. Irina suffers from some neurological damage that gives her an involuntary eyeball twitch, but is never referred to by this particular nickname by anyone in the book. It’s just part of her introductory paragraph, serves no purpose whatsoever, and should really just have been left in the trash during editing.

Next Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #2 – One False Note

TV Recap and Review: American Gods S01E01 – The Bone Orchard

Title: The Bone Orchard
Show: American Gods
Season: 1
Episode: 1
Sidereel Rating (Average): 4.06
Sidereel Rating (Mine): 4

Based on: American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Notes: Series Premiere


  1. Ricky Whittle – Shadow Moon
  2. Ian McShane – Mr. Wednesday
  3. Emily Browning – Laura Moon
  4. Gillian Anderson – Media
  5. Pablo Schreiber – Mad Sweeney
  6. Bruce Langley – Tehnicolor Boy
  7. Jonathan Tucker – ‘Low Key’ Lyesmith

Series Description: Shadow Moon is released from prison only to find that his wife and best friend are both dead. Broke and alone, he accepts a job working for Mr. Wednesday, a man on a mysterious mission, and is unwillingly dragged into a war between the ancient and modern gods of America.

Plot Highlights: A band of Vikings reach America, only to figure that they were not going to be able to survive on this new continent. Lacking the wind they needed to sail back, they make a series of blood sacrifices to bring the Allfather’s attention to them. In the present day, Shadow speaks to Laura about how he’s going to be released in five days. The next day, he’s told that he’s being released early because Laura died that morning. On the plane, he meets Mr. Wednesday, an enigmatic hustler who offers him a job. After he accepts the job, they travel to Laura’s funeral, where Shadow finds out that Laura and Robbie had been having an affair. After the burial, Shadow meets Technicolor Boy, and is attacked and lynched by his goons.

It is, of course, a given that an HBO show would be replete with sensationalist and unnecessary scenes of violence and nudity. That, however, doesn’t prevent me from wishing that they’d opted for a different route with American Gods. The plot is intriguing and interesting – and filled with enough sex and violence – to grab eyeballs. It’s poor form to consistently drag a good fantasy story down based on a cheap formula. The same goes for Game of Thrones, but that show is so far beyond help that there’s no point talking about it.

The opening scenes detail the story of Odin reaching America – and then being left behind there as the Vikings hightail it for home. The scene then shifts to the prison where protagonist Shadow Moon has been incarcerated.

Shadow is due to be released in five days, but he can’t shake a sense of foreboding. His premonition proves true when he’s released three days ahead of schedule so he can attend his wife Laura’s funeral.

“I feel like there’s a fuckin’ axe hangin’ over my head.” – Shadow

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Ricky Whittle as Shadow Moon

Shadow’s sorrow and isolation hangs over the entire episode. He’s sullen, brooding, very silent. Shadow is essentially a non violent person, which is ironic considering he was in prison for aggravated assault and battery. Mostly, he’s a small time hustler and thief. He’s also very much in love with Laura, and her death hits him deeply. We see him be emotional only twice in the episode – once when he stops his car in the middle of a deserted road in the middle of nowhere to just scream. And then again, after the funeral, when he talks to Laura at her grave. He’s hurt twice over – by her death, and by the news of her infidelity. He asks her why she didn’t just tell him. “I could have taken it.”

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Emily Browning as Laura Moon


Mr. Wednesday’s character is one I cannot like at all. He doesn’t do anything to convince us that we should be on his side. He’s an oily swindler, capable of switching from doddering old man to seasoned manipulator and then to fast asleep in minutes, as it were.

Ah, you got more talent than me. I got two. One is I can sleep anywhere any time. The other one is that I usually end up getting what I want…on average, over time. – Wednesday

He browbeats and stalks Shadow until he agrees to work for him, skilfully using Shadow’s grief and loneliness as weapons in his manipulation. I cannot like manipulators, and therefore I cannot like Wednesday.

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Shadow with Mr. Wednesday (Ian McShane)

The leprechaun Mad Sweeney agrees with me. He doesn’t trust Wednesday, which gives him a lot in common with all of the gods Wednesday tries to recruit. But unlike those gods, who were only afraid of losing, I suspect that Mad Sweeney realizes that the victories Wednesday promises will only benefit Wednesday himself at the end of the day.

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Pablo Schrieber as Mad Sweeney

Mad Sweeney: Now that’s a coin trick for ya.
Shadow: How’d ya do it?
Mad Sweeney: With panache.

The humour is well distributed and keeps the episode from descending into dark, brooding boredom. One of my favourite lines was Mr. Wednesday’s reaction upon learning Shadow’s name.

“Oh, my boy, that is one outstandingly improbable name.” – Mr. Wednesday.

Unfortunately, the treatment of race so far has been remarkably tone deaf. Bilquis, the queen of Sheba is the only black woman (or WOC, for that matter) in the episode, and her portrayal had no depth, and indeed, seemed placed here only to fill the nudity quota.

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Yetide Badaki as Bilquis

And then of course, they managed to end the episode with Shadow being lynched (by Technicolor Boy, a personification of racist white trolls, among other things). They address this again in later episodes, but the only character on whom this seems to have made an unsettling impression is Shadow himself.

Technicolor Boy is also the first look we get at the apparent villains of this series – the New Gods. They represent the new forces that mankind believes in: television, the media, armament. Technicolor Boy is brash and rude, personified as a white teenager.

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Bruce Langley as Technicolor Boy

He’s a relatively young god, and dismisses Wednesday, the Old Gods and all their ways as irrelevant. And yet here he is, asking Shadow what Wednesday’s up to. Technicolor Boy’s motivations are rather confusing at this point, and really, the only reason he seems to be in this episode is to give the New Gods a face and show off what their world looks like.

American Gods starts off by being weird and grandiose and filled with unrelatable characters. In many cases, those characters are also profoundly unlikeable. The Bone Orchard also sticks close to the original story, without much room for further exploration. As a set up episode, it does a good job of hooking the viewer and building anticipation.

Next Review: The 39 Clues [The Clue Hunt] #1 – The Maze of Bones